Starting with Sunday...
All my thoughts on Sunday morning were about seeing Pete. I felt so excited and a bit nervous, having not seen him for over a week. Still not thinking too much about leaving him...just wanting to hold him, be next to him, have my hand in his. We had a wonderful time...but also decided that it was best for both of us, if he didn't come to the airport. Mum and Dad would be with me anyway and it would just be too difficult for both of us.
At about 4.20am, I left the room - crying - not quite believing that I was going, my heart feeling like it was breaking. But also so glad that we had had one last night together.
At the airport, we met Sarah, one of the other teachers travelling out to Ecuador. Alex arrived a little later and we all went to check in together. Whilst queueing, I discovered that there was a possibility that I couldn't take my guitar - but wouldn't be able to find out till I got to the boarding gate. If I couldn't they could bring it back to my parents. I felt that it was unfair to make my parent's hang around - they were both shattered and also knew I couldn't take the risk of it not going through. I therefore made the decision not to take it. Absolutely gutted, couldn't stop the flow of tears...
Saying goodbye to Mum and Dad was also very hard.
Saying hello to Sarah and Alex was great - I'd wanted to meet them for so long. We swapped stories and experiences between Heathrow and Madrid...I listened to them and wondered whether I was doing the right thing. Felt insecure about my lack of knowledge of living and teaching in different countries. Felt sick, scared and sad. Also wondered if Alex and Sarah were as scared as me.
I found between Madrid and Quito, my mind kept returning to Pete - why had I left the man I love? Wanting to ball my eyes out, to scream, to shout...instead silent tears running down my face. Sarah noticed...hugs were given, no explanations needed. Were they as scared as me? Yes but different ways of coping.
The flight from Madrid to Quito, was eleven hours. I am not good at staying in one place for so long (unless I'm asleep). I'm much happier when I have things to occupy my brain, otherwise I can have a tendency to think too much. However, even though I felt sad, I knew that once I arrived and had things to absorb me, that I'd be okay.
____________________________________________________________________
11.08.08...9.25pm Ecuadorian time, 3.25am in England...
I had been awake for 43 hours, with only a couple of relatively short snoozes. Time for bed!
I am staying with a lovely couple who work at the school, they have made me feel very welcome. Tomorrow I look for somewhere to live.
All my thoughts on Sunday morning were about seeing Pete. I felt so excited and a bit nervous, having not seen him for over a week. Still not thinking too much about leaving him...just wanting to hold him, be next to him, have my hand in his. We had a wonderful time...but also decided that it was best for both of us, if he didn't come to the airport. Mum and Dad would be with me anyway and it would just be too difficult for both of us.
At about 4.20am, I left the room - crying - not quite believing that I was going, my heart feeling like it was breaking. But also so glad that we had had one last night together.
At the airport, we met Sarah, one of the other teachers travelling out to Ecuador. Alex arrived a little later and we all went to check in together. Whilst queueing, I discovered that there was a possibility that I couldn't take my guitar - but wouldn't be able to find out till I got to the boarding gate. If I couldn't they could bring it back to my parents. I felt that it was unfair to make my parent's hang around - they were both shattered and also knew I couldn't take the risk of it not going through. I therefore made the decision not to take it. Absolutely gutted, couldn't stop the flow of tears...
Saying goodbye to Mum and Dad was also very hard.
Saying hello to Sarah and Alex was great - I'd wanted to meet them for so long. We swapped stories and experiences between Heathrow and Madrid...I listened to them and wondered whether I was doing the right thing. Felt insecure about my lack of knowledge of living and teaching in different countries. Felt sick, scared and sad. Also wondered if Alex and Sarah were as scared as me.
I found between Madrid and Quito, my mind kept returning to Pete - why had I left the man I love? Wanting to ball my eyes out, to scream, to shout...instead silent tears running down my face. Sarah noticed...hugs were given, no explanations needed. Were they as scared as me? Yes but different ways of coping.
The flight from Madrid to Quito, was eleven hours. I am not good at staying in one place for so long (unless I'm asleep). I'm much happier when I have things to occupy my brain, otherwise I can have a tendency to think too much. However, even though I felt sad, I knew that once I arrived and had things to absorb me, that I'd be okay.
____________________________________________________________________
11.08.08...9.25pm Ecuadorian time, 3.25am in England...
I had been awake for 43 hours, with only a couple of relatively short snoozes. Time for bed!
I am staying with a lovely couple who work at the school, they have made me feel very welcome. Tomorrow I look for somewhere to live.
No comments:
Post a Comment