Sunday 31 August 2008

Saturday morning ramblings...

Saturday morning, sitting listening to Elbow. It's half past seven in the morning and once again my internal body clock woke me up ridiculously early. I've already had breakfast and although my eyes tell me I need to sleep some more I think it's unlikely that I will be able to. This is all particularly annoying as I didn't get to bed till about midnight last night...so really could do with more than six hours sleep!

Last night was great! It actually started at about four in the afternoon, with after school 'Happy Hour' drinks at my boss Daryl's house. I wasn't too sure about going, but had a really great time. I chatted with quite a few other people in the school. For example, Monica (the school psychologist) and her husband Mario, who is a musician, so we obviously found a lot to talk about! Hopefully there may be some possibilities of jamming with him in the future!

I also spoke more to Jim (secondary English teacher), he's from Bury St Edmunds! Which kind of surprised me when I first met him, but not entirely. We are all connected somehow! He was at the party with his girlfriend Amber and her daughter. They met at Easter and she has now moved in with him in Ecuador – a whirlwind romance! I had already decided that he seemed to be a fairly like minded person on the partying front so I have given him the task of choosing somewhere excellent in Quito for my birthday! I also discovered that he used to go to Planet Yes parties, so a little reminiscing took place! I'm fairly sure we probably know some of the same people, but haven't got that far yet. It is lovely though, to have a connection to home, someone who actually knows where the places are that you talk about.

I chatted to Justin's wife Christine quite a bit. Justin is my immediate boss, as he is the Primary Coordinator. I really like both of them, they are really down to earth New Zealanders. Chrissy and I had an entertaining chat about the size of male mannequin's appendages in Ecuador...they are really huge! I am amused by it everyday when I go past shop windows on the bus. Not only was it hilariously funny to talk to Chrissy, but she also told me that Justin has told her how impressed he has been by me already – it's great to be appreciated!

I also met the British Ambassador and her husband. How exciting you might be thinking. Well, no not really. She is short and fat with no dress sense or real presence. He had the face of a heavy drinker, complete with bulbous nose and was wearing a fishing hat (complete with all the daft badges!). I am all for eccentric English people, god knows I know enough of them, but I didn't really feel that they represented the best of British! I guess it's another one of those preconceptions - the idea of an ambassador is of someone glamorous and engaging. Our lady in Ecuador was definitely the opposite of that! Although apparently we do sometimes get invited to the ambassador's house, which is a good excuse for a posh frock, but I'm not sure I would accept her ferrero roche!

After Daryl's, quite a few of us moved on up the road to Alex's. There were about thirteen of us in total and it was great! I made a fire, which later Justin turned into a raging inferno. Men and fires, what can I say? Brings out the caveman instinct in them I think!

Alex has a random mix of music on her laptop, some good and some seriously cheesy! However when 'You've got a friend' came on, I had to sing it at the top of my voice in remembrance of Ted ( I sang it at his funeral, for those of you who don't know). I even got a compliment from Justin...ok, imagine the New Zealand twang, 'Geez Fiona, you've actually got quite a good voice.'

Me and the girlies, had lots of fun singing and dancing around Alex's sitting room. It was really good to see everybody letting their hair down and having fun. Good to get to know people away from school.

Eventually, there was just Alex, Sarah and me left. These two girlies are stars! I really like both of them.

At about quarter to eleven, exhaustion suddenly hit and I rang the marvellous Jorge to take me and Sarah home. He is great because he speaks some English and has taken people from the British School home on many an occasion.

Ooh, just need to quote Elbow, as it seems very appropriate:

'...it's looking like a beautiful day...'

It certainly is, the sun is shining and it's Saturday. I'm glad it's sunny, yesterday was quite overcast and a bit chilly at times – although that did mean I got to wear my beautiful red coat for the first time!!

'...throw those curtains wide, one day like this a year will see me right...'

Okay Elbow, I will!

I love Elbow, they're brilliant. I'm so glad I got to see them at Latitude. What a brilliant weekend that was!


A note about how I'm feeling...

Well, I have good days most of the time. I wake up in the morning and look at the amazing view of mountains from my window and it's stunning. Standing on my roof terrace looking across the valley is also incredible, especially at night time, seeing all the lights of Cumbaya. I am incredibly fortunate to be here in Ecuador and I certainly intend to make the most of this opportunity. It is evenings which are more difficult, feeling tired and lonely, wanting to talk to people back in England. I'm sure that this will get easier, especially once I have internet access at home. I keep having to remind myself that I have only been here for a few weeks and that things will take time.

It's not easy to move to another country, there are huge emotional highs and lows. The excitement of being somewhere new, learning everyday, so many places to see and then the difficulties of not being able to communicate properly, not knowing how to sort things out or where to go.

I do feel incredibly positive most of the time though, especially about school. Talking with Alex and Sarah last night, we all felt that the school has been waiting for the new teachers in primary for sometime. There were obviously difficulties last year. But this year there is a really strong team of positive and enthusiastic people who are passionate about what they do. We all come from different teaching backgrounds and have different ideas, but we all want to learn from each other and work together to make this primary school something really amazing. I feel we really will be able to make a difference and not just to the kids.

A note about the kids...

I really like my class already, year six boys are very funny and full of character. They think they are so cool and don't really want to let on if they like something because that would be decidedly uncool. Yesterday in assembly, all the primary kids were asked if they'd enjoyed their first two days back at school. There was a sea of arms in the air! In year six, all the girl's hands went straight up, no problem. The boys all sat there. However after some gentle prompting from yours truly (coughing and gesturing for their hands to go up), they all went up too. Ha! Control established!

I think the boys have been quite surprised to find that they won't get away with anything. The girls are easy, but I do like the challenge of the boys.

One of the best moments in school yesterday was when I started reading 'Goodnight Mr Tom'. I love to read to kids and they were a very attentive audience. One of the boys even asked for more of the story later on!

The ability range in the class is huge and it's going to be hard to get these kids up to standard. But again, it's a challenge and it seems that I quite like those really.

A note about hamsters...

I have inherited a hamster. Last year my kids had two hamsters as class pets. Unfortunately only one survived the summer living with the guards (there is suspicion that the other one was eaten!). Yesterday a group of very excited boys brought Chubby (or is it Humphrey – we're not entirely sure), to the classroom. I was highly amused by all of this and really don't mind at all...Chubby/Humph is really quite cute and being a hamster, obviously doesn't really do much during the day. He is also going to be a very useful way of bribing the kids!

Saturday 30 August 2008

Aimless wandering...

I actually sat and wrote a load of stuff this morning to upload on Monday, but I have been wandering and have found an internet shop, so seems silly not to make the most of it! You´ll just have to forgive things being slightly out of order!

I´m having a really good day, woke up to beautiful sunshine (at 6.00am - not so good!).

I did some work this morning - I´ve still got masses to do, but felt the need to go outside and wander.

It´s great I found my way to the very posh mall ´La Esquina´, where I had an Italian meal not long after I arrived. I also discovered today that there is a sushi bar there too...yum! I am very chuffed because in the deli I found Chinese five spice! I had been told that I was unlikely to find it, so I´m very happy. Although it was quite expensive! So whenever anyone comes to visit there´s definitely gonna be a list of spices! There are very few curry spices either. I bought some ´curry´powder from the local Supermaxi and quite frankly it´s crap! (anyway getting slightly sidetracked by food and spices...back to the story!). Also met some Americans in the deli...they seemed quite friendly!

From La Esquina I have walked and found myself in Old Cumbaya. It´s great I´m really enjoying wandering. I´m near to the old square and am heading there once I finish playing on the internet. Then I shall head back home and maybe call some of the girlies and see if they fancy Chinese!!

I feel so much better just for having spent some time on my own. I´ve always enjoyed aimless wandering...normally to friend´s houses or The Barrel or something like that. Feels good to have started to do it here.

Wandering slightly off tangent...but it´s kind of to do with The Barrel...well, The Cider Shed really. There´s a dog that lives near me and he looks just like Monty. It´s lovely, I say hello to him every morning and he wags his tail back again. Although if I find out he´s one of the dogs that likes to start barking once I get into bed...well it may be a different story!

Anyway going to continue my wandering and exploring shortly. Also I need some more water...feeling a little dehydrated!

So a good, happy positive day!

Thursday 28 August 2008

Survived!

My first day teaching that is!

I've had a great day getting to know the kids. There are definitely some characters! But then what can be expected with 9 boys and 5 girls! (Although only 4 of the girls were here today).

I'm absolutely shattered. I slept well last night and did have an early night, but was up early and in school by about 7.25am.

The kids started arriving at 8.00am. Lessons started at 8.30am. We chatted a lot to start with and then I got them to write about themselves and draw a picture.

This afternoon they made signs for the classroom, including things like 'Warning - grumpy teacher!'

Tomorrow I only have 2 lessons in the morning and 1 in the afternoon. So, the rest of the day will be spent trying to work out what I'm doing with them next week!

Fractured thoughts...

27.8.08

About 9.00pm (ish)

Things I'm missing:

1.Pete...kinda obvious that one I think
2.All my family & friends
3.Being completely independent
4.My car
5.Being able to pick up the phone and chat to people in the evening...your all in bed!
6.Getting up later than 6.00am in the week
7.Managing a lie in on a Saturday...I think the latest I've managed so far is about 7.30am.
8.Having the internet at home

I'm so tired, didn't sleep well last night. Gonna have an early one tonight – hopefully!

I meet my class tomorrow, they're mostly boys. I figure that it should be interesting.

I need to stop wishing that Pete was here, coz I don't know when or even if he will be. I told myself this at the weekend and I'm okay when I'm busy. It's just when I stop; when I look at pictures; when I try to sleep; when I'm alone. It's damn hard, but then I've known for a long time that it would be. Certain music I just can't listen to at the moment.

Where did my summer holiday go? I've been here for just over two weeks and a lot of that time has been spent in school. Yet the kids start tomorrow. I don't feel particularly rested.

Now I feel more secure about getting around the local area, I want to go further afield.

Things I want to do:

1.Talk to Pete, hear his voice and maybe even see his face (online chats are just not the same)
2.Explore Quito
3.Go dancing
4.Learn to salsa
5.Learn Spanish
6.Walk around old Cumbaya
7.Meet some people who don't work at The British School
8.Listen to live music
9.Sing
10.Play

Apart from the first thing, I don't really mind the order of the others.

School tomorrow, I don't feel nervous – too tired for that. Better make a list of things I want to achieve over the next couple of days.

Boing! 'Time for bed,' said Zebedee.

Wednesday 27 August 2008

The Butterfly Maiden


The butterfly maiden came today,
She called for me to come away.

'Come,' she said and took my hand,
And made me look upon the land.

Ahead I saw the land of dreams,
Wisdom said, 'Your mind is free.'

I felt unsure of the way ahead,
Feeling perhaps I should be led?

Suddenly I felt quite bold,
I turned and saw my wings unfold.

Monday 25 August 2008

Buying a guitar...Ecuadorian style!

Sunday 24th August...

As I had to leave my guitar with Mum and Dad when I left Heathrow, I have been on the look out for a new guitar since arriving in Ecuador. Last Monday, Sarah and I spotted a guitar shop in Ventura Mall (not too far from school), there were some very pretty guitars and I decided that I would return at the weekend.

I went back today after a lovely Sunday lunch at Roy & Kay's. When I entered the shop, I saw that the whole family were there...and Dad was singing over a microphone! The lad I spoke to on Monday recognised me, and I started to have a look at the guitars. I chatted to the three sons and Mum very kindly brought me a stool to sit, on so that I could try the guitars out. The first one didn't feel quite right and was a little small, so they brought over the rather lovely electro-acoustic I had been admiring on Monday. I began to play Tracy Chapman, 'Baby Can I Hold You Tonight', one of the few songs I can actually play and sing. I thought, sod it, I'm gonna sing it too! Before I knew it, there was a microphone in front of my face and they had plugged the guitar in...I was amplified for all to hear! Obviously I hated that...NOT! It was lovely, I laughed, sang and played my way through the song. The whole family were very complimentary of my singing and so I asked how much the guitar was...they gave the price, but one of the sons said that if I sang another song they'd drop the price by 10%. So I sang 'Summertime', Dad accompanied me on the guitar and one of the sons played the drums!

Embarrassingly, I didn't have quite enough cash for the guitar and case, so I went to the cash machine to get some more and bloody couldn't! I think Barclays may have put a hold on my card...grrr! However these lovely people said not to worry, I could pay the remaining $25 tomorrow. Furthermore, if I ever want to go and sing there again, I am most welcome.




I have met quite a few Ecuadorian people now, both in and out of school, and they have all been really warm towards me and kind. Luckily they seem not to mind my very small quantity of Spanish. I am trying, and already know a few phrases that are useful when shopping!! Also numbers are coming on, but I still don't always understand because they speak very quickly and my brain has trouble processing. I am determined though and should start lessons in the next week or so.


Papallacta

On Thursday, we had to be in school for 8.00am in order to set off for our training days at Papallacta.

Papallacta is located 67km east of Quito. At an altitude of 3,300m above sea level. It's climate is described as: Humid upper-montane rainforest. Cold-wet climate. It's average temperature is 14°C.

'...the route to Papallacta was the same as taken by the Spanish conquistador Francisco de Orellana in 1542 as he crossed the Andes mountain range upon discovering the Amazon and Amazon River...'*

*Information taken from www.papallacta.com.ec/informac.htm



Once everybody had arrived, we had to basically play musical chairs in order to meet and greet people! We were then introduced to our 'coach' who would be leading the training at Papallacta. He asked us in-depth questions such as:
Have you ever had a bad day?
Have you ever had a day when everything is great?

What can we learn from these experiences? Hmm...maybe that we are all fairly normal people?!?

Obviously we were all highly impressed by this - there were quite a few raised eyebrows around the room! Next, we had to choose one of 4 shapes: triangle; Z; circle and square. 'Coach' then told us their meaning...
Triangle - natural leader

Z – creative
Circle – sex/alcohol

Square – team player

Oh dear...I picked circle!


Once we arrived at Papallacta (after a journey through beautiful countryside, where I spotted snow at one point!), we went to the conference centre for another session.
This was a chance to get to know other people's names...we all had a sticker and had to write not only our name but also a word that would help connect us in people's minds...it had to start with the same letter as our first name. After my first few thoughts, which really weren't suitable for school, I settled on fun. We then had to stick the sticker somewhere creative...I chose my left buttock (obviously clothed!)...it made me and the people around me laugh a lot! I enjoyed meeting members of the secondary and admin staff ( it turned out later on, that quite a lot remembered my name...can't imagine why!). The next activity involved juggling with a partner. This was fun, apart from the constant...what can we learn from this? How can we use this in our lives? To summarise...well...life is one big juggling act...(this isn't actually what he said, but was the basic gist, stuff about facing challenges and overcoming obstacles). I really do wonder how much he was getting paid for these amazing insights.

We had time to chill after lunch and went to check out our cabinas. Really lovely buildings, with a communal room sleeping 4 upstairs and a double room downstairs. These were situated around the thermal baths. I think the location of staff training in Ecuador is a definite improvement on the PDC...there was good lunch, dinner & breakfast, and THERMAL BATHS!!!! Woo-hoo!!
The baths were to hot in the daytime for more then a bit of toe-dipping.



After more getting to know each other activities including: Telling people about where we were from Things that are important to us An aspiration for the year Something that has made us proud of ourselves We finally managed to escape from the man with the apt surname of Cocker! Don't get me wrong, y'know it was really good to talk to more people and get to know more about them. But I felt if I'd been put in a room with these people (without Mr Cocker), I probably would have chatted with just as many people and found out the same or similar things. (As we all know, I like a good waffle!)

One of the best things to come out of the day, was talking to Maria (lovely Spanish teacher), she said she'd show me round her home town of Quito...we just have to arrange a date...I'm looking forward to it already!

One of the worst things...a definite moment of wrongness...was when we all had to line up and whisper to the person in front, 'Would you like it hard or soft?' This was so we could massage each other's backs. However, the person behind me was my boss, Daryl. I did tell him that I would never be able to take him seriously again! I have boundaries and my boss saying this to me, definitely crossed those boundaries!!!!


Most of the evening was spent in and out of the thermal baths. Unfortunately having decided to go in before dinner, I had to put on a clammy swimsuit for the second visit! However this just meant a rather quick dash from the cabina to the pool! It was incredible sitting in an amazingly hot bath, looking at the stars. I highly recommend it for feeding your soul!



Friday... I woke early after a bad dream.

I spoke to Mum before breakfast to wish her a happy birthday. It was lovely to speak to her and it would have felt so wrong not to. After breakfast, we had section meetings. All the primary staff were together, and Claire led inset on formative assessment. We have been using this in the UK for sometime now, but it was good to have a refresher on possible techniques and gave me a good chance to get to know my assistant Carolina. It also made me feel more confident, knowing that this is an area of assessment which is new to the school, but one that I already have a great deal of experience with. The second session was led by Justin (Primary coordinator). He asked the different groups of staff to sit together and write down expectations they had for each other. It has become quite clear to us new teachers that there were a lot of issues last year. Luckily we are all a happy, positive bunch, who want to do our best for the kids and the school. The outcome of this was, unsurprisingly, the need for good communication, respect, appreciation, professionalism, etc. Justin is going to put these together so that we have a shared set of values.

During discussion with Carolina, I discovered that Ecuador has a very definite three-tier class system.

After lunch, we headed back to school and towards the weekend!

Wednesday 20 August 2008

Gas & Classroom sagas!

Well...I found out on Monday that I'm having a smaller classroom because I'll only have 14 kids in my class...I don't mind this at all because it means I've got a data projector - woohoo! The downside was that I had to move all the secondary stuff out of the classroom before I can put my stuff in there. I managed that yesterday, so today I'm going to organise the layout so it feels like a primary rather than a secondary classroom. Unfortunately the teacher who normally has this class doesn't know we are swapping and that she's losing the data projector...I hope this doesn't cause issues.

Once the furniture is moved I need to go through the resources in the original class and move them into here. There is some ancient stuff that definitely needs to be got rid of! Also they are still using the National Literacy/Numeracy strategies, whereas I have been using the new frameworks on and off for the past two years. They are quite different.

The gas saga...

I ran out of gas yesterday, so lovely Claire came over and rang up the local gas people - Prontogas. They said they'd be about half an hour. I waited...and waited...and waited. By 7.00pm I thought this really goes beyond even Ecuador timing and rang Claire back. She got hold of them and they said that the guards at my gate wouldn't let them through. She rang them again this morning, and I went up to the guards to tell them 'Prontogas biene para mir'.

A little while later the guy arrived - hooray I thought...hot water and a cup of tea! I showed him where the gas cylinder was and he told me all sorts of things which unfortunately I couldn't understand. Luckily Segunda (lovely old man who looks after the building), was about and came to talk to him. I think the problem was the connector...it's not right for prontogas.

So...I've left some money with Segunda and I'm hoping that there'll be gas when I get home. I really need a bath...getting very dirty sorting the classroom!

Monday 18 August 2008

Feeling more settled!

Yesterday was a good day too.

I pottered about in my apartment; my landlord and landlady came over - they are lovely and thankfully speak really good English; walked to the local Supermaxi and bought exciting things like a washing line and lids with bins for the bathrooms!

In the evening I went to Ben & Claire's. There were quite a few of us there and we sampled pizzas made in their pizza oven. A good social gathering. Managed yet more shopping there too! Sandy, who works on the reception desk at school, makes beautiful jewellery and had brought some with her. So I now have two more pendants and matching earrings!

Today I'm in school, mainly to make use of the internet!

Best day so far!

I got up early on Saturday morning to go out on a family adventure with all the other new staff, Claire and Sophie.

From the bus we saw amazing views across the countryside and of the mountains.

Our first stop was at the equator...

I have now straddled the equator! One foot in the southern and one on the northern hemisphere. We took some amusing pics of each other and admired the scenery!

We continued on to Cayambe, where we saw bizcochos (a buttery, savoury biscuit – traditionally served with cheese) being made! The bizcochos were yum, even without the cheese!

Outside the bizcocho factory, there were old people begging...so we gave them some food and money so that we could take their photo. I am finding the faces of the Ecuadorian people – both young and old – fascinating. There were many stories behind the eyes of this pair.

Our next stop was Otavalo, for the famous craft market...photography and shopping heaven!! I wandered about with Sophie and Jeanne...Sophie speaks fluent Spanish, so is very useful when it comes to haggling on prices! I was very chuffed with myself, coz I did manage to ask a few questions...although I didn't always understand the answers. (Note to self...must learn numbers!)

I bought three beautiful paintings for my new home; a pair of earrings; two mugs; a throw; a really colourful small bag; a purse and a really lovely jumper. All of this came to just over $100. (Excellent shopping therapy!)

Unfortunately I also had a touch of altitude sickness...but after food and water felt a lot better. It was a kind of weird, floaty, queasy feeling.

The adventure continued on to Cuicocha Lake...a lake in the crater of a volcano!!!! A few of us went on a boat ride...it was incredible...a real awe and wonder time for me – I never thought I'd actually be in the crater of a volcano. The scenery was absolutely beautiful. I kept feeling like pinching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming! I have to admit I did wonder if perhaps there was a secret hideaway under the lake – ala James Bond!

The lake is 9km in length and has two islands. The lake was created when there was an eruption several thousand years ago...the peak of the volcano fell in, creating the lake. There was another eruption which then created the islands. The lake is very important to indigenous people, and the channel between the two islands is called 'The channel of enchantment'. Well, I was certainly enchanted, it was magical! It is an active crater, which means you could see bubbles of gas coming up to the surface of the water! Cool!!!!

We had one last stop on the way home, in a village called Cotacachi. Cotacachi is famous for it's leather goods – there is one street literally lined with shops selling beautiful leather clothes, bags, boots, etc.


We only had half an hour here because we were running a little late and our bus driver had to get back, so didn't manage to get into many shops. However, I did spy a beautiful red, suede coat in the window of one...I had to try it on...it fitted perfectly. Well I had to buy it! Sophie and Claire helped negotiate the price a little...and there I was feeling fabulous in a beautiful new coat which cost £60 ($120).

Well I figured my settling in allowance was meant to be used for retail therapy...I still have more than half of it left....hmm, where to go next?!

I finished the journey home in a taxi...the driver and I attempted a conversation, it consisted of me saying I only knew a little Spanish...he replied that he didn't know any English...he thought we may have a problem! He was very sweet though and made sure I had got to the front door of my apartment block before leaving.



Friday 15 August 2008

Things I've learnt so far...

  • The loo paper goes in the bin beside the loo;
  • Don't try on hats in markets...you'll get nits (as I discovered last night...thank god I brought a nit comb!);
  • Not understanding a language is very hard;
  • Everything if fine, so long as your busy!

Wednesday 13 August 2008

Day 2....

It looks like it's gonna be another beautiful day!

Lying in bed, looking out of the window, I've just seen my first hummingbird - wow!

Yesterday was a good day...I enjoyed meeting other teachers and people working at the school; lunch was good; looking at places to live was interesting.

Not understanding the language was difficult, I felt very isolated when Claire, Gabriela and Sophie all spoke Spanish. I also found it difficult trying to make decisions about where to live. I think perhaps I had too many preconceived ideas and was also looking for somewhere that reminded me of home in some way.

I think I'm going to take an apartment in Cumbaya. It's about 10-15 minutes walk from shops and restaurants. It's spacious and light, with two bedrooms....and the rent includes a maid!!!!

Tuesday 12 August 2008

The dawning of the day...

Awake at quarter to six - in time to see the sun rising over the mountains. I'm blown away by the beauty of where I am staying.

The people I've met are lovely. I'm truly amazed that I'm actually here - still not quite believing that it's real.

My mantra...keep looking forwards...

Awake for forty three hours...

Starting with Sunday...

All my thoughts on Sunday morning were about seeing Pete. I felt so excited and a bit nervous, having not seen him for over a week. Still not thinking too much about leaving him...just wanting to hold him, be next to him, have my hand in his. We had a wonderful time...but also decided that it was best for both of us, if he didn't come to the airport. Mum and Dad would be with me anyway and it would just be too difficult for both of us.

At about 4.20am, I left the room - crying - not quite believing that I was going, my heart feeling like it was breaking. But also so glad that we had had one last night together.

At the airport, we met Sarah, one of the other teachers travelling out to Ecuador. Alex arrived a little later and we all went to check in together. Whilst queueing, I discovered that there was a possibility that I couldn't take my guitar - but wouldn't be able to find out till I got to the boarding gate. If I couldn't they could bring it back to my parents. I felt that it was unfair to make my parent's hang around - they were both shattered and also knew I couldn't take the risk of it not going through. I therefore made the decision not to take it. Absolutely gutted, couldn't stop the flow of tears...

Saying goodbye to Mum and Dad was also very hard.

Saying hello to Sarah and Alex was great - I'd wanted to meet them for so long. We swapped stories and experiences between Heathrow and Madrid...I listened to them and wondered whether I was doing the right thing. Felt insecure about my lack of knowledge of living and teaching in different countries. Felt sick, scared and sad. Also wondered if Alex and Sarah were as scared as me.

I found between Madrid and Quito, my mind kept returning to Pete - why had I left the man I love? Wanting to ball my eyes out, to scream, to shout...instead silent tears running down my face. Sarah noticed...hugs were given, no explanations needed. Were they as scared as me? Yes but different ways of coping.

The flight from Madrid to Quito, was eleven hours. I am not good at staying in one place for so long (unless I'm asleep). I'm much happier when I have things to occupy my brain, otherwise I can have a tendency to think too much. However, even though I felt sad, I knew that once I arrived and had things to absorb me, that I'd be okay.
____________________________________________________________________

11.08.08...9.25pm Ecuadorian time, 3.25am in England...

I had been awake for 43 hours, with only a couple of relatively short snoozes. Time for bed!

I am staying with a lovely couple who work at the school, they have made me feel very welcome. Tomorrow I look for somewhere to live.

Friday 8 August 2008

Two more sleeps...

Really ought to be in bed for one of those sleeps at the moment, although I'm finding that sleep is becoming more difficult.
Awake at six this morning, I tried to get back to sleep but to no avail.
I don't expect to sleep on Sunday night, so two more sleeps till Ecuador!
I've had a really lovely day with Mum & Dad. Quite a few new items of clothing were purchased. A great distraction from the reality that's Monday.
I find that I'm okay if I keep busy and don't think about it too much.

Thursday 7 August 2008

Friendship & phonecalls...

I had this plan that I was going to make useful heaps of clothes this evening...really start to think about what should go in the suitcases!
It all started to go awry when Rich rang...my bestest male friend since college.
Next I rang Ali (guardian angel), to catch up and try and work out when we might be able to see each other...
Then a text message from Jemma (best friends since primary school)...too much to put in a text message...so I rang her...
Finally Jan (oak tree friend for about 6 years now)...returning her call of earlier...
Wonderful friends...all four of them...each knows me so well...so much love, laughter, happiness, sadness, tears and adventures have been shared with these lovelies over the years. Each one can pick me up when I'm down, put me back together again and find me if I'm lost. All so different, all so brilliant. I'm a very lucky girl, because I've got so many wonderful friends.
A special mention for Haggis now...who was at the end of the phone when I felt lost on Tuesday night. My last night in my house...after 11pm, who can I call? Scrolling through my phone numbers...then remembering Haggi was there and knowing he'd be awake, knowing he'd understand, knowing he'd make me laugh again and make it better. Haggi, who told me he'd be there the next day to help...and of course, he was.

Sunday 3 August 2008

For Katifer


Thank you for everything you did to make last night so special!

Much laughter and loveliness...

Last night at my party.

I had a really fantastic time, lots of my lovelies were there.

Moments that stick in my head (in no particular order):
  • Sitting with my family in the evening sun
  • Beautiful sunset
  • My Dad wearing a blonde wig!
  • My Mum rather liking my Dad in the wig!
  • Dancing with my sisters & Wemyss
  • Chris arriving...a beautiful surprise!
  • Chatting and laughing lots
  • Lisa inviting us back to her bed in the campervan for a 'love-in'
  • Beautiful Lou providing me with a jumper and toast when I got cold and hungry
  • Talking to the boy on the phone and wishing he was there
  • Masses of hugs
  • Standing in the middle of the road, so that Kate and Liam could find the after party
  • Standing on stage with Wendy
  • Thanking everybody
  • The hardest moments (apart from Pete not being there), Kate and Lou being sad...but happy, but sad.

Saturday 2 August 2008

Emotions...

Emotions are a funny thing, today they've got my head in a spin.

A line written over a year ago, but feeling very appropriate today.

Had the penultimate goodbye with Pete yesterday...

Spent last night with my Mum, Dad, sisters and nephew...good thing to do. Big sis will be here soon to help me sort things a bit more.

I don't know where to start, and there are so many things to do.

The 'Oh My God I'm doing it, I'm actually fucking doing it' party is tonight...thinking make up may be a bad idea...although maybe I've cried enough for today. Such mixed feelings...looking forward to seeing everybody...not looking forward to saying goodbye.