Words from a different life...

Written in December 2006

I'm standing on the edge of an uncertain path,

Feeling as if I could fall backwards,

Knowing that the only way is forwards,

Facing doubts and fears,
Shedding so many tears.

I wonder about possibilities,

Try to keep my positivity,

I look to the future wondering what it holds?

Terrified of being left alone and cold.

I made my decisions,

Found the strength to leave,

Have this feeling that suddenly I'm free,

Or am I just behaving stubbornly?

I keep myself busy fearing that if I stop,

I may not be able to cope with the drop,

I fear the chasm that opens ahead,

Yet I also feel excited, so alive, not dead.

I talk to friends who offer their advice,

Keep going forwards, don't think twice,

Keep on growing and blossoming and flowering,

You will find this all empowering.

Yet I am standing on the edge of an uncertain path,

Finding the strength to keep from falling backwards,

Knowing that the only way is forwards,

Facing doubts and fears,

Smiling through the tears,

Understanding at last,

That the past is the past,

And that sometimes...

The journey is the destination.

Last two weeks in Latin America

In my last two weeks in Latin America I was happy to know I would be with friends.

Firstly I stayed in Huanchaco with Ursula - lovely Irish friend who I first met in Quito, she's been travelling around Peru for the last 18 months or so. When I arrived I was still feeling pretty rubbish from the cold/flu type thing I had going on - it was such a relief to finally have a room to myself where I could actually allow myself to be ill and rest.

Huanchaco was lovely, very peaceful and chilled. It was the end of the season so the town was quiet which was a lovely contrast after the hecticness of Cusco and Lima. My days were spent eating delicious food cooked by Ursula; walking dogs belonging to one of her friend's; sleeping; trying out a few of the local restaurants; reading - it was definitely a well needed rest.

I also got to hang out with the lovely Ilana and James who I originally met in Rio. Unfortunately they weren't completely well either, but it was lovely to see them again!

I had no real urge to do anything - after months of being in many different places, thinking about and doing many different things it was nice to stop. I also knew that once home, life would become manic again. I also finally allowed myself to really start thinking about Vietnam - getting much more excited about that adventure!

After Huanchaco I went to Costa Rica to spend a week with my friend Yvette in San Jose. I was looking forward to spending some time exploring with Yvette over the weekend. Unfortunately though I was ill again - this time stomach related. It began in Lima airport - not fun. I was also mightily pissed off by the air hostess who ignored me after landing in San Jose when I tried to explain how imperative it was for me to be allowed into the locked toilet - luckily I then noticed the other one was unlocked.

Staying with Yvette was also lovely, but unfortunately I didn't really start feeling well again till the Saturday (having arrived there on Wednesday, 25th May). So the trip we'd hoped to take into a national park on the beach didn't happen. However, every cloud has a silver lining, because of this we spent Saturday afternoon in the central area of San Jose where I managed to buy some pressies. We also heard a fantastic band playing in one of the parks and found out that they were playing again in a jazz club the following Monday. 

On Sunday when Yvette got up and came down I was actually able to give her the thumbs up that I felt well. We went to explore a fairly local farmer's market - the fruit and veg were amazing. My personal moment from there though was a father and son duo playing what I think was a marimba - it was lovely. Afterwards we went to an art cafe where we had a second breakfast!! We were in fact amazed that we were back at Yvette's having been out and about before the time we'd actually left the house the day previously! I even felt well enough to cook curry for Yvette and a couple of her school friends - it went down a treat! The last of my curry spices were gone - this was when I knew it was definitely almost time for home (plus the fact that I hadn't cooked for ages, I certainly didn't expect to still have some in the last week of my travels).

On Monday 30th May we went out dancing and oh how we danced! The band we had seen in the park certainly lived up to expectations. The club was packed - amazing for a Monday night. Furthermore, almost as soon as the support band (who were damn good too) had finished the dance floor was packed in readiness for Sonambulo Psichotropical! They were brilliant. I realised whilst dancing that one of the things I would definitely miss on leaving Latin America was the higher proportion of men who can dance. I love to dance with a partner and have met a couple of good dancers in my travels which has been so much fun! In Vietnam I will need to find places for dancing as I thrive on it!

I arrived home to the beautiful English countryside on the 2nd of June, after an incredibly long journey that included a brief stop in Iceland! Mum and Dad were both waiting for me and I was looking forward to some time at home.