Today started well, much like any other. However as the day wore on my foot* hurt more and more.
This afternoon I was rehearsing with my class for their assembly on Friday and it was shit. I've been teaching them 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door', with a few kids playing instruments. I spoke to them before break, but they were just as shit after break. I was almost in tears at one point, trying to explain to them that I was in pain and that they were frustrating me. I ended up telling them they are the worst class I've ever had, explaining what my last class were like when it came to performances. I have spoken to these kids everyday this week regarding effort. I also told them that they present an attitude of not caring and not bothering. Hopefully they may actually think about this tonight.
I chirped up after school for a bit because I had choir practise. We've only just started, but a few songs are getting underway already.
I had physio at 5pm - I have to have 10 sessions and it was the second one today.
I was feeling wobbly (emotionally) before I went in and trying to hold back tears. Unfortunately I wasn't able to hold them at bay and started to cry silently when the treatments started. I was managing to hide them quite well until the physiotherapist moved my foot to show me how to exercise it - then I just couldn't stop...my breathing went all stupid and the tears flowed. To make matters worse the other physio called me a baby. I couldn't explain that it was the straw on the camel's back after a shit afternoon. Furthermore, being called a baby made me feel angry, as did the fact that I was given no privacy - this did not help the tears situation. I was overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness and being alone. I wanted my Mum or my man to be there with me. Of course neither was possible - the man situation doesn't exist and my Mum is thousands of miles away.
Most of the time I am fine, but there are days/moments when the knowledge of how far you are from loved ones is just unbearable.
The reality that I am on my own and alone.
Thank god tomorrow is a new day.
*Plastercast came off on Monday.
This afternoon I was rehearsing with my class for their assembly on Friday and it was shit. I've been teaching them 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door', with a few kids playing instruments. I spoke to them before break, but they were just as shit after break. I was almost in tears at one point, trying to explain to them that I was in pain and that they were frustrating me. I ended up telling them they are the worst class I've ever had, explaining what my last class were like when it came to performances. I have spoken to these kids everyday this week regarding effort. I also told them that they present an attitude of not caring and not bothering. Hopefully they may actually think about this tonight.
I chirped up after school for a bit because I had choir practise. We've only just started, but a few songs are getting underway already.
I had physio at 5pm - I have to have 10 sessions and it was the second one today.
I was feeling wobbly (emotionally) before I went in and trying to hold back tears. Unfortunately I wasn't able to hold them at bay and started to cry silently when the treatments started. I was managing to hide them quite well until the physiotherapist moved my foot to show me how to exercise it - then I just couldn't stop...my breathing went all stupid and the tears flowed. To make matters worse the other physio called me a baby. I couldn't explain that it was the straw on the camel's back after a shit afternoon. Furthermore, being called a baby made me feel angry, as did the fact that I was given no privacy - this did not help the tears situation. I was overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness and being alone. I wanted my Mum or my man to be there with me. Of course neither was possible - the man situation doesn't exist and my Mum is thousands of miles away.
Most of the time I am fine, but there are days/moments when the knowledge of how far you are from loved ones is just unbearable.
The reality that I am on my own and alone.
Thank god tomorrow is a new day.
*Plastercast came off on Monday.
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